I’m convince that online dating can work. I asked my friend Isaac how his internet romanced flourished. Before elaborating, he gave me a one word response, friendship.

Isaac said that his online relationship with Camille was founded on friendship. Obviously, it wasn’t love at first sight since they did not know what each other looked like. Also, during the time that they met online, uploading and downloading pictures was at its infancy.

So first and foremost they became friends. Both Isaac and Camille were not looking for any romantic relationship during that time. Since both shared the same interests, they found it easy to chatt for hours online. Isaac said that since neither of them were worry about their looks or worry about impressing each other, they were able to express themselves freely without fear of rejection or condemnation.

Of course being the cynic that I am, I told Isaac that their realtionsip is really not that special because a lot of relationships that did not start online are first based on friendship. He agreed and said, “my point exactly.” “Internet dating is like normal dating, or online friendship is like regular friendships. You need to give it time and patience to make it work,” he added.

So there it is, according to Isaac, the Internet Love Guru, a successful relationship is based on friendship first that needs to be nurtured with time and patience.

When my friend told me how he met his wife I was blown away. They met online and had a long relationship via the internet for quite sometime before they got married. So what’s the big deal right? In today’s time this doesn’t seem all that unusual. However, when they met fifteen years ago, the concept of online dating was something new and untested.

My friend and his wife did not meet on an online dating service or a dating website. Back then these sites were very few and not very popular. They met by chance. Both were AOL users and they came across each other because they shared a common interest. And as the saying goes, “the rest was history.”

Their relationship was filled with trials and obstacles. Thousands of miles separated them but they managed to work through their challenges and eventually after seven years of being together online and sometimes in person, they decided to marry.

It is a good thing that I did not know my friend during that time because I would have probably adviced him not to marry. I would have told him that a relationship based on the internet is not the right way to build a solid foundation for a family or a marriage. I would have told him that he can’t possibly know everything about her since he has only spent a total of six months in person with her out of the seven years they were together online. Thank God I wasn’t there to give my advice.

Today, my friend lives a happy marriage with his “internet lover”. This just proves that true love does transcend distance, time and cybersapce. It doesn’t really matter how and where a couple start their romance, it only matters where the romance ends.

Now internet dating is a norm. It has been made easy and safe by many reputable online dating services. However, these advancement would not have been possible without the few people like my friend who took a leap of faith and decided to court their soulmate online.

This entry is by no means an endorsement of online dating. It is just one story out of many. I find it interesting since normally I am not very receptive to things that are intangible, specially when it comes to love and relationships.

I will revisit this topic again and share with you how my friend and his wife made it work. Hopefully their life can serve as a lesson for anyone out there searching for true love.

On one of my wife’s blog, she discussed how people in general do not fully recover from the pain that they have suffered through with their past relationships or from the feeling of betrayal that they might have gone through in the past with their current partner.

This comment struck me hard. I began examining my old wounds and analyze whether they have manifested somehow in the present. To a certain extent she is right. Some old emotional wounds that I thought were healed do open sometimes in the present even if they are not related to whatever is happening at that moment.

So the question is, when do you fully recover or will you ever recover and heal? Perhaps, I might not fully recover from all my emotional wounds. And perhaps it is not even important if I fully heal. What is important is how I manage and deal with the challenges ahead so that my past wounds will not open and cripple my better judgement. 

I can manage them but I do not think I can be fully healed because being fully healed means you would have forgotten what happened. If you forget what had happened then it might repeat itself. Being aware of your emotional scars will remind you of the pitfalls that you have fallen into and inturn these scars will make you more cognizant of the obstacles that lie ahead.

Of course this not true for everyone. We all have our ways of dealing with our emotional scars. However, one thing is for sure, when the next challenge comes, we all want to be ready so that we can make it through with more strength and courage.

Do you feel a sense of guilt when you spend the entire Sunday watching football or your favorite sports? You will be glad to know that you are not the only one. Many of us sensitive guys or what some of my friends call “wimps,” feel this guilt that somehow by watching sports all day or all weekend we are neglecting our wives, girlfriends, or fiancé.To ease this sense of guilt and to preserve our relationships and at the same time scream at the top of our lungs cheering for the Cubs, the Bears, the Bulls, and the Badgers, I came up with 5 highly effective strategies to employ during this time. Of course, being the sensitive husband that I am, I asked my wife to approve my list.

Here they are:

1. Do House Work: I do not mean for you to do the regular house work that you normally do like throwing out the garbage or vacuuming the carpet. What you need to do is the house work that she normally does and that she normally hates doing. My wife hates cleaning the bathroom and doing the laundry. So naturally I would do the laundry Saturday morning before the college games start. By the time the first college game is underway I am finished with the laundry and I can relax knowing that I have done something that would please my wife. For good measure, I make sure that she sees all the folded clothes just to remind her of my good deed. On Football Sunday, I tackle the bathrooms in our house. NFL kick-off starts usually around 12:00 p.m. If I start cleaning by 10 a.m. I could be finished by the time Terri, Howie and Jimmy go live on FOX. And of course again, I make a point that she notices that I am cleaning the bathroom. Sometimes when there’s a really big game and I don’t want to be disturbed during the game, I cook breakfast for her and my children, then after breakfast I clean the bathroom. This one is a grand slam! How can she complain or give you a guilt trip after performing all these good deeds. As I stated earlier, you have to do the chores that she normally does and that she hates to do. So if she hates washing the dishes roll-up your sleeves and start washing.

2. Shopping: This one is my wife’s favorite. There’s a few ways you can do this. You can either get her friends to take her shopping, have your children ask her to go shopping, or you can take her shopping the day before the game. I guarantee you that she will not forget this. And, if you need to improve your chances of guilt free sports weekend, make sure you hold her purse while she tries on different outfits.

3. Plan a Date after the Game: If your partner is like mine, then this strategy will work for you. Hype-up the “date” the day before or the morning of the big game. The key to the success of this strategy is to make her so excited and anxious about the date that she will spend a lot of time preparing for it. Since she will be pre-occupied with getting herself ready, she will not have the time to pay attention to you watching the game. She will be so busy trying to figure out the right outfit, matching her shoes and jewelry that by the time she finishes with all her preparation the games will be over and you will be all suited up and ready to go. If your team wins and end up having a nice time out with your lady, who knows you might get lucky before the night is over. This is what you call a perfect day.

4. Take the Children Out (if you have children):This is one of my favorites because she can have an alone time and I get a chance to spend time with my children. I take the children out two hours before the game starts. The first stop is food. As long as the children are fed, they will not be complaining. The next stop is my parents or my sister’s house. My children love going to their grandparents or aunt’s house because they will get spoiled. And my parents love it when we stop by because they get a chance to spend time with their grandchildren. While my parents and my children are busy spending time with each other, I go to the basement and turn on the game. One of the best parts of watching the game at my parents’ house is that there’s an endless supply of junk food. After the game, I may take the children out for dinner or catch a matinee show. Good time is had by all!

5. Give Her a Massage: If you don’t know how to give massages, LEARN! This strategy works every time. You can give your wife or girlfriend a massage 30 minutes before the game starts. Once you get better at this, you can give her a message while you watch the pre-game show. By the time the game starts, she will be so relax that she might fall asleep thus leaving you to watch the game in peace. Don’t worry if she wakes up during the game because she will be in such a good mood that most likely she will watch the game with you or better yet she will make you a snack and refresh your drink. Another advantage of giving her a massage is that if you do it right, there’s a good chance that you might get her frisky and if the stars are lined-up, you might get lucky before kick-off.

So there you have it, five very effective strategies for sensitive guys’ successful sports weekend. You can employ these strategies individually, combine them, or do a rotating schedule. The bottom line is that in order for you to really enjoy the game, you have to be guilt free from spending too much time in front of the television during the weekend.

Some of my friends say that I shouldn’t feel guilty doing this because I work hard all week and this a time for me to unwind. My wife says, unwinding and relaxing and watching sports all weekend is fine if you live by yourself. But, if you have a partner or a family, the weekend is really the only time that you can devote all your attention to them without worrying about work.

I agree with my wife, but at the same time also I need to satisfy my passion which is watching or playing sports. So with my desire to fulfill both of my passion, I came up with these strategies and I must say that it’s been working like clockwork.