photo by Star Bulletin 

When you grow up in a society where mainstream society doesn’t represent or look like you, you will question your own identity. Such was my case.

Growing up I always wondered what and how it would be like to be White and not Filipino. While I didn’t hate how I looked, I did however prefer to be the “other” dominant race. Think about it? Any child would prefer it. Just imagine not being ask constantly what your “nationality” is. And when you say your “nationality” is American, then the next comment will be, “No, what I meant was where are you from?”

So to save yourself from further discussion, you tell them that your Filipino. Yes, when you are White in America, you are never asked what your nationality is or where you are from, even if you have a very thick Eastern European accent. It was just the way it was when I was growing up.

As a school aged and a teenager of color, I was always reminded of who and what I was. My parents reminded me that I shouldn’t try to act too American because I’m Filipino. American society also reminded me that I’m not really fully American because of the way I look.

To make matters worse, I also got the hypothetical question that went something like this, “If America goes to war against the Philippines, who would you fight for?” So, somehow because of the way I look, my loyalty was suspect. Of course my friends who were Irish, Polish, and Jewish were never asked the same question because since they are White, it was assumed that they are American and their loyalty and patriotism was never in questioned.

Ironically, I thought I wouldn’t go through the same experience when I lived in the Philippines for two years. While I certainly fit in because of my appearance, I immediately felt that culturally and emotionally, I wasn’t really Filipino. My students, friends, and relatives confirmed my notion when they stated that I act too much like an American.

What a dilemma, huh? So the identity crisis continued!

Fortunately, now that I’m older and more secured with who I am, I’m no longer at the state of confusion. I acknowledge and respect my Filipinoness and I will never deny myself of my parents’ culture. But in my years of searching, I have discovered that I’m an American first and foremost.

I think, act, and feel American. Yes, I was raised with Filipino culture and values but what I’ve discovered is that those same Filipino values have been mixed with American values. Consequently, as a benefit of my experience, my children do not have to feel confused about their own identity. They look Filipino and even speak the Filipino language but their thoughts, feelings, and culture is very American. Even my wife who is born and raised in the Philippines is very American.

This just goes to show that no matter how sometimes some Americans are not very accepting of differences and diversity, America itself as a whole is welcoming. America has a knack of taking everything in the world and making it her own, thus enabling herself to constantly evolve for the better. And, as long as America serves as the land of opportunity and freedom, new immigrants and their children will also experience the same identity crisis. But no matter how you slice it, these same people will be woven into the American fabric who help create a safety blanket for new people in search of new and better life.

 photo from muslimapple

It was approximately two years ago today when I thought my world was going to drop.

My eldest, BJ, said that he wanted to join the Marine. BJ is an action type kind of guy. He likes to take physical risks and is really not afraid of anything. Well, almost everything, even though he doesn’t want to admit it, he is afraid of his mother. The prospect of going to war did not scare him. In fact, it excited him.

Immediately, his mother said, “NO, not gonna happen.” Somehow I knew that this will not be enough to deter him from enlisting. I wanted to give him my opinion right away, but I waited and let the shocking news marinate in my consciousness.

The first thing that came to mind was that he will be sent to Iraq and get hurt or worse, get killed. But, at the same time, I felt a sense of pride that my son will be a serviceman. I recalled my senior year when I was one step away from going to the Air Force Academy. But during that time, US just invaded Panama so my mom said, “NO, not gonna happen.”

I knew that if I immediately discourage BJ from going, we might go against his stubborn will. After all, this is what he wanted and not what I wanted. I had to come up with a good enough reason why he shouldn’t join. At first I thought about giving him my political views about the war. However, I realized that this wasn’t going to work since he already knew that I opposed the war and still he wanted to enlist.

Ten thousand thoughts came flooding into my brain. You try very hard to protect them and then when they grow up, they want to venture out into the world and join the fight; a fight that is at best founded on propaganda and fear. You do your best to teach them what is right and wrong and then they want to be a part of something that is morally ambiguous. You do your best to make sure that they understand the sanctity of life, and then they want to expose themselves to senseless deaths.

How can I allow this? How can I stop it? The fact is I couldn’t but I had to try. I couldn’t talk to him about politics because it wouldn’t work. I couldn’t say that every life is valuable because he will just say, “Dad, it’s war, what do you expect?”

I thought I would never come up with a good enough argument to stop him from putting his life in harms way. But out from no where, a divine intervention engulfed my consciousness and an argument or a reason materialized in my thoughts.

I knew BJ was not the type to take orders from anyone. I also knew that he likes being in-charge and he likes people to listen to his ideas and implement them.

During one of our many discussions about joining the Marine and the life in the Military, I said to him, “You know it’s actually not a bad idea that you will sign-up. I just wish that you would do it after you graduate from college.”

I received a quizzical look from him. I elaborated.

“Once you finish college, you can join and once you finish your basic training, you will become an officer because you have a college degree. If you enlist now with just a High School Diploma, then you will be a private and you will have to follow everyone’s orders, plus your path to being an officer will be more arduous.”

I got no response from him so I continued. “Why don’t you think about it? The Marine will still be there when you finish college.” I also told him about my friend in college who after graduating, joined the Navy and became an officer after basic training.

I honestly don’t know if my argument was the deciding factor. But I am glad that he decided to not enlist. His mother was also elated.

I just hope that this war will end soon. I have another son, Benito, who will graduate from High School in two years. I just don’t want to go through this thing again. Actually, I would be really proud to have any of my children join the military. The problem is, we are never guaranteed with having a President who will make sure that we fight a good honorable fight.

I guess when it comes down to it, my children’s lives are not really on the President’s hands. They are on ours, the American voters. I hope we get it right this time.

It’s here again. It has begun and it’s turning ugly and fast. Cover your children’s eyes and ears because it will not be pretty.

What I am referring to is the political mudslinging. The 2008 primary season has been very subdued when  it comes to negative attacks. We were all riding the good wave of positive rhetoric and political civility. Unfortunately, now that the  race is nearing its climactic moment, we are seeing the candidates and their surrogates rolling up their sleeves and slinging mud at each other.

Here are two examples:

1. Barack Obama being called Barack Osama or his middle name being mentioned over and over again, Barack Hussien Obama, in order to raise anti-Islam sentiment without being too obvious. 

2. John McCain’s alleged involvement with a female lobbyist. While there is no accusation being thrown around, the suggestion of behavioral inappropriateness is obvious.

So it seems like nothing has changed. The candidate with less negative press will win. I thought this election was going to be different and that we will finally make our choice as confident voters and not as scared voters.

How can I keep telling my own children and my students to focus on positivity and civility if what they are going to see from this year’s election is a salvo of negativity?

Please American voters for the sake of my students and my children, do not let this happened. Show them that you are not stupid.

Your Fellow Citizen,

Chris

Gun lovers always use the phrase above when explaining or justifying why we should not outlaw gun ownership. While this may have some truth to it, it certainly doesn’t make it right because the same argument can be made for nuclear weapons.

“Nukes don’t kill people, people kill people.”

I don’t think the framers of our Constitution ever envisioned a society with so much violence and so much tools for violence. The right to bear arms was included in our Constitution for the purpose of protecting ourselves from foreign armies, like the British Army during the post-colonial era. The American Government in its infancy, had no choice than to allow its citizens the right to arm themselves because the American Government did not have a viable army to defend itself.

However, now that America is the only remaining super power, we really don’t need to arm our citizens. The right to bear arms is no longer appropriate, it’s murderous.

Why do we need to have a law that puts people’s lives at stake? Our government works so hard to prevent Iran, North Korea and other nations with unstable government from acquiring nuclear technology because we don’t want these governments to go crazy and blow up everybody. So the question is, why can’t we apply the same logic when it comes to gun ownership in America.

The recent shooting in Northern Illinios shows the grave consequences of such a law. The shooter acquired his guns legally and now 6 people are dead and an American University is again in mourning.

I just don’t get how it is so easy to pass a smoking ban but it is so difficult to ban guns. I guess the gun lobbyist in Washington are a lot more powerful than the tobacco lobbyist.

It’s true, guns don’t kill people, people kill people but it sure does make it easier.

Are you for real? Are you really ready to elect a woman or a black man for president? Can you actually go beyond your racist and sexist attitudes and make the right choice?

Or,

Are you just teasing me, making me salivate over the prospect of a black man or a woman president? Are you sadistically getting my hopes up only to crush it during the General Election? 

Can I actually tell my inner city students that they too have a chance of becoming the President of the United States? Can Dr. King’s word finally ring true “…that they will be judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin…?”

But

Honestly, I think that you are not ready yet. You still have a lot of issues to deal with. But then again, I woudn’t want to put anything pass you because you do have the tendency of surprising people or the tendency to prove people wrong; specially when you are told that you not capable of doing something as important as this election is.

So America, I urge you or better yet, I dare you to prove me wrong. Show me that you can live up to your potential of being the best nation on earth, where people are free and where justice and equality reign supreme.

Your Hopeful Citizen,

Chris