My Achilles Heel
Photo by mlhanas
I had mentioned before on my previous post that at work I’m an expert at telling positive lies in place of negative truths. As an school administrator, I not only have to nurture our students’ feelings, but I have to do it for their parents as well.
When speaking to a parent about his or her child, one has to be aware that even if a parent is listening to a teacher’s comments objectively, the negative statements about his/her child doesn’t hurt any less. I know I’m good at what I do because I can empathize with every single parent. Like any other parent, my children, while they are definitely my source of inspiration and strength, they are also my Achilles Heel.
Any negative statements regarding my children, true or not, is like a dull knife piercing through my heart. Such was the case when one of my dearest and respected relatives spoke unfavorably about my children. While what she said was true and without malice, contextually it was hurtful.
And because I was hurt, I modified our entire vacation itinerary. Did I overreact? Probably? Was I too sensitive? With out a doubt! But my feelings were definitely valid and justified.Will I remain hurt and upset? Most definitely not. Life is too short to wallow in negative thoughts.
So imagine me, a person who is suppose to be professional, objective, and usually takes everything with a grain of salt, reacting the way I did. Now replace me with one of the many parents from any schools.
Yes, I believe in telling the truth! But I also believe in bending the truth to achieve a bigger and better outcome. When it comes to talking to parents about their children’s academic, social, and emotional progress or lack thereof, one must thread lightly and cautiously. If one sets out to tell the unadulterated truth to parents, one must be ready to face the repercussion, which is usually a hurt and a defensive parent. Besides, the truth is easy to swallow if it’s accompanied with sensitivity and care.
Most expert opinions and analysis are well intentioned. Most comments from caring relatives and family members are also well intentioned and without malice. But because we all have our emotional sore spots, all our comments need to be qualified so that our mouths don’t intentionally shoot arrows to our Achilles Heels of Emotions.
). If you come right out and tell the parents everything that is wrong with their child, they’ll just get defensive and will probably fail to hear what you’re trying to tell them. If you’re tactful and make them feel like you’re not attacking their wonderful, beautiful child, but are instead addressing a particular behavior of that child which can be modified, you’ll probably be a lot more successful. I feel for you, it’s a tough balancing act.
