Compulsory Education
by You go to school to learn how to read and do math. To save lives and become a doctor, you need education. To cut somebody’s hair or wax someone’s eyebrows, you need training. Why is it that the most important job in the world doesn’t require schooling? What is this job you ask? It’s parenting.
Yes, being a mommy or a daddy is the most important job you’ll ever have. If you don’t get it right, you could possibly ruin plenty of lives in the future.
I would dare to assume that if you poll 100 people, 99% of them would agree that parenting is the most important thing a person could do. Now, with this in mind, why isn’t it required for people to go to school or training before they become a parent?
You read it right. I want parenting to be a required course in school. Think about it. When you went to school, before you can graduate, you were required to take art, gym, and some poetry class where you read poems written by some dead guy a long time ago. Now honestly, when was the last time you were called on to recite poetry by Keats, paint a still life, or demonstrate how to play pickle ball?
Now as a parent, don’t you wish that you’ve taken some courses in high school or college on the basics of parenting? If we make parent education compulsory, then we could possibly reduce the number of children who have “issues” because of bad parenting.
Of course a parenting class is only as good as its curriculum. Thank goodness that I’m an educator who is well versed in curriculum design. And as a coincidence, I have a parenting education curriculum that’s readily available for mass consumption. So here I am putting myself out again for the improvement of humanity. Below are sample courses that will be required for students to take before graduating from high school or college.
Introduction to Popo-ology: Here parents are taught how to recognize normal po from you need to go to the emergency room po. How to clean a baby’s bottom without smearing the po all over the place will also be covered in the first semester. For the second semester, potty training will be addressed.
Diaper Studies: Students will learn how to change a baby’s diaper from various locations like, public bathrooms, Greyhound bus, airplanes and inside a moving car. During the second semester, students will learn how to utilize other materials like paper towels, toilet paper, and t-shirts if they run out of diaper and it’s too late at night and too cold to go to the store.
Cross-Traning 304: With this class, students will immediately learn to build-up their parent physical fitness for the following activities: 2 a.m. feeding, cleaning around the house with one arm while holding a child with the other arm, crossing the street during a torrential downpour with an umbrella, a baby, a toddler, and a diaper bag, and be physically and emotionally vibrant with 2 hours of sleep.
Because I Said So 404: This course will cover a wide range of topics that involve outwitting your children. Example topics are: how to bribe them to do what you want them to do, how to say no during a visit to Walmart or Target, how to make them clean their room, and how to win arguments by saying “because I said so.”
As previously indicated these are just some of the courses that will be offered. Other notable courses are:
- Stop Crying or I Will Really Give You Something to Cry About.
- This Hurst Me More Than It Hurts You.
- Yes, It’s Not Fair, Deal With It.
- Close The Fridge, Turn Off The Lights, Don’t Let The Water Run.
- Is That Smell Coming From Your Room?
Obviously I still need to modify the course descriptions and the course titles also need a little tweaking. However, I can proudly say that my proposed curriculum is extensive and it will cover a broad range of topics and issues that any parent will face.
Lastly, teacher’s qualifications for the courses being offered should also be considered. In order for a teacher to be considered for certification, the following criteria must be fulfilled:
- At least 2 years experience of being a parent
- A teacher’s Masters Degree and PhDs will not be honored without their OWN child’s birth certificate indicating that they are the parent of that child.
- A recommendation letter from a teacher’s own children stating that he or she is a good parent.
- No prior record of allowing teacher’s own children to run around the park, the grocery store, and at a restaurant without proper supervision
I’m sure that there are more teacher requirements to add. I will fine tune everything and present my plan to anyone who’ll listen as soon as our society acknowledges that we can solve a lot of our society’s ills if we just accept the fact that the most important education a child will ever receive comes from the home. And this education starts with the parents.
Of course, this should not stop you from putting your two cents in, so fire away, the floor is open.
