Drive-Thru Kids: Hold The Tantrum Please
photo courtesy of farm2
I’d often wonder why in America, the bastion of capitalism, there hasn’t been a business venture that rents out kids to would be parents or people who only want to be parents on weekends or special occasions. Think about. In America anything is rentable. You can rent-a-cop, rent-a-maid, and even rent-a-date (not that I would ever need one). So why not rent-a-kid?
Even better, why not make the rent-a-kid business Drive-Thru style. It’s quick, it’s easy and you don’t even have to get out of your car. This would totally revolutionize parenting. Before delving into the parenting gauntlet, you can test the waters and see if you are parenting material.
Imagine, say you want to try out taking care of a baby. Now all you have to do is drive up to your nearest McKid or Burger Kid and order a baby.
“Welcome to McKid, can I take your order?”
“Yeah, can I get the baby deal #5 without barfing. Oh, yeah can you make sure you hold the colic and I want some giggling on the side.”
“Would that be it sir?”
“Yup.”
“Drive to the 1st window please.”
Now, this is not just for babies, you can also order teenagers or school aged children.
“Good Morning, welcome to Burger Kid may I take your order?”
“Let’s seeeee…I wanna teenager without the emo hang-ups and who will mow the lawn without being ask 20 thousand times.”
“I’m sorry sir, we’re out of those types of teenagers, would you like a teenager who washes the dishes but gets bad grades instead?”
“Hmmmmm…ok, let me have that, but throw in an eleven year old who will make me laugh and who will annoy the teenager.”
“Anything else sir?”
“Wait, I forgot, can you make sure the teenager will take regular showers and brush his teeth twice a day?”
“Sure thing sir, drive to the window please.”
Now, a lot of you reading this probably couldn’t believe what I’m proposing here. You have to remember though that great ideas are usually frowned upon first until eventually people realize that the idea is actually beneficial to mankind.
With this business venture, we can make sure that people like Britney Spears or Michael Jackson won’t need to actually pro-create just because they feel like playing house. In addition, people like Bradgelina can lease to own as many children as they want without going through the hassles of adoption. This ingenious plan could’ve saved Madonna from the bad press she received from adopting an African baby.
Of course, this idea is in it’s infancy. It needs a lot more modification and a feasibility study needs to be done. But if you think it’s a great idea, let me know. I could use some partners. Heck, I’m even willing to have my own children be our first model out of the assembly line.
If you’re interested, you can contact me at chris@beadaddytoday.com or if you just want to give me some suggestions, drop me a comment.
