How I Fund My Retirement: 5 Easy Ways
photo by cannonmorgan
With the retirement of approximately 70 million baby boomers and the anticipated demise of the United States’ Social Security Funds, many Americans who are in their 30s and 20s are already preparing for the worse when it comes to their retirement coffers. As for me, I’m not worried. I’ve been preparing for quite sometime now. And now, funding my retirement has been simplified in 5 easy ways.
My preparation has gone through many tweakings and is still in need of more modifications. And I must admit that the process has been stressful at times. There have been many nights when I couldn’t sleep and days when I couldn’t eat and kept wondering why some of my sure bets are not performing the way they should. But regardless of the ups and downs of the market, watching my 5 retirement plans have indeed been memorable and for a lack of a better word, fun.
Before I divulged my 5 ways to fund my retirement, please understand that this plan is not meant for anyone but me. This unique method may not work for anyone but me. And bear in mind that I’m an educator and not a financial advisor. So read and proceed with caution.
Plan #1: The Prodigal Son
TPS does everything well with minimal effort. He has a knack of figuring things out in order to make things work to his advantage. Someday someone will pay him a lot of money to make their business work more efficiently. Or he could make a lot of money touring the world giving speeches on how to game the World of Warcraft. If plan one doesn’t work out, then move to plan #2.
Plan #2: The Family Genius
TFG has obliterated every academic record that I have. I’ve been writing creatively longer than she’s been alive and I can’t even hold a candle next to her. She will either write a best selling anime or manga novel or find the cure for the common cold. Chaaaaaaachinggggggggggggggg! Money on the bag baby! But just in case she gets the idealistic let me save the world bug and become a teacher or a tree hugger, I can still depend on plan #3.
Plan #3: The Guy In The Middle
TGITM is artistic and is great working with his hands. He’s always tinkering with something. He is either building something or breaking something. His tinkering and creating talent is eclectic. He’s creation ranges from miniture Christmas decorations, medieval weapons to emo jewelries. He even created a ceramic vase, which is proudly displayed in my office, that has been honored by our village mayor as the best art work of the year. So how will TGITM bring home the bacon? Can you say IKEA? But if he chooses to be a starving artist instead, then plan #4 will come into play.
Plan #4: Smiley Face
While SM’s artistic and academic prowess are no slouch, her greatest assets are her athletic abilities and her good looks. Currently being only 11, she’s more into drawing, Nintendo DS and watching the Disney Channel. This is where all the work happens when you have to cultivate your investment. I try to expose Smiley Face into as many sport activities as possible. Right now, we’re concentrating on refining her jump shot and her one handed back hand. Maria Sharapova here we come! There’s a possibility that Smiley Face will shy away from the limelight because she’s naturally shy. If she chooses a life of anonimity, then plan #5 will scream into action.
Plan #5: CJ
He’s only 3 so it’s very difficult to gauge his ROI. And with any new investment, there’s so much potential with CJ. Based on the family’s assessment, CJ has everyone’s talents. Consequently, he also has everyone’s vices. The force is strong on this one. With any luck, he can fund everyone’s retirement.
Now many of you are probably already saying to yourselves, “What if no one decides to take care of him?” Well, I’ve thought about this too. I have 2 back-up plans.
Back-Up Plan #1:
For the past few years, Babe has been making calculated business and career risks. When these risks pay off, it will make all the belt tightening, trift store shopping, and Aldi grocerying all worth it. And it appears as if all her ships are about to come in. So who knows, I may have an early retirement. Of course, if after making her millions, she decides to throw me over the ship, then my last resort will be implemented, back-up plan #2.
Back-Up Plan #2:
This is the easiest plan of all. I’m going to live and retire in the Philippines where the dollar gets a lot of mileage. There, I should be able to live on the fruits and vegetables that grow on the front and back yard and I could go fishing on the river behind our house. For some extra cash, I would start a small school and teach English.
So while people are stressing about the economy and their retirement, I can sleep at night because I’m very prepared for the future. If you really think about it, my retirement plan is a lot less riskier than putting your money on the Stock Market or any retirement fund out there that still uses the market to leverage its earnings.
Who needs Social Security or 401K if you have an airtight plan like mine?
What about you? Are you ready for your retirement?
