Wat da Wat?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
                             And be one traveler… The Road Not taken Robert Frost

There have been many times when I had to make difficult choices. And I made my share of right and wrong decisions. My hope is that my children will never have to make the same tough choices as I have, but this is only wishful thinking. I know that there will come a time when my children will face two roads that diverged in a yellow wood and they will have to decide which road to take.

I wish I could be there to help them make that choice. Unfortunately, like everything that is important in life, they will have to make their decisions on their own. While it is true that I cannot always be there to guide them, I want them to know a few things that will guide them through their chosen path.

1. Listen to your heart. While listening to your heart when making choices doesn’t guarantee that your choice is the right one, it will at least make the journey more passionate and more satisfying. I’m very fortunate that every time I listen to my heart when making decisions, I ended up making the right choice because I try my hardest to make my choice work. If you follow your heart, your heart will not allow you to quit so easily when things get rough. And sometimes, it’s this extra effort that turns things around for the better.

When my wife and I decided to be together and raise a family, there was plenty of resistance. But we made the difficult choice to be together and listen to our hearts. It would have been more convenient if we parted ways but if we took the road that’s often travelled, we wouldn’t have the family that we have now.

2. Do the right thing. When making choices you always have to differentiate between what’s the right choice and what’s the right thing to do. Making the right choice doesn’t necessarily mean that you are doing the right thing. 

Four years ago I faced this type of decision whether to choose the right choice or to choose the right thing to do. I had to quit my old job because I did not agree with the unethical changes that were happening with the organization. However, during that time, my wife was pregnant with our 5th child. When I quit my job I didn’t have any other job lined up. The right choice was to stay with the organization and deal with the changes so that my family’s financial situation will be secured. The right thing to do was to stand up for my principles and leave the organization.

I opted to do the right thing. My choice obviously met some ire from family members but I am glad that I stood my ground and kept my integrity untarnished. It’s not by accident that everything worked out because when you do the right thing, good things happen.

3. No regrets. Once you have made your choice accept it and see it through. If you made the wrong choice, do not regret it, move forward. Having regrets will only cripple you and prevent you from making your next choice. We won’t always make the right choices. And when we do make a mistake with our decisions, we must learn from them and not regret them.

I made a mistake of not playing collegiate tennis. I regretted this decision. However, I learned that when I couldn’t let go of the regret, I wasn’t able to see the benefits of me concentrating on my academics. I became consumed with my missed opportunity.

When I released myself from my regret, I discovered that I have learned more and gained more from not playing tennis collegiately. I learned that new opportunities open when you take a different path and that you just have to recognize these new opportunities. As a result of my academic focus, I received a Fulbright Scholarship to study in the Philippines for a semester. My experience in the Philippines made me realize my true passion, which is teaching.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

The choices that I made are certainly not conventional choices. It’s not always easy to take the road less traveled, but if you take that road whole heartedly, it will make all the difference. One thing is certain, as my children face their diverging road, I want them to know that they will have what I never had, which is an unconditional support of a parent.

So my precious and beautiful children, travel your path with confidence and know that if you ever lose your way, there will always be a road that will lead you home.

photo from k-punk