How Does A Father Say I Love You?
photo by istockphoto
My father, being born and raised in the Philippines is old school in many ways, especially when it comes to showing his affection towards his children.
As far as I can remember, I have never heard my dad say I love you to me or to my sisters. But, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love us. While he is a very articulate writer, he is often times at a lost for words. So, in order to see and feel his love, you really have to pay attention to the things that he does or has done.
So, how exactly does my dad show his love? Below is a list of some of the things that dad does to express his affection towards us, his children.
1. He prepares your taxes for free. Dad is an accountant.
2. Lends money without hesitation, without interest, and without questions.
3. He doesn’t criticize you when you make a mistake.
4. He doesn’t like to hurt your feelings, so when he has something to say, he lets mom do the talking.
5. Your accomplishments becomes his accomplishments.
6. He listens.
7. He does your homework when you ask him too.
8. He will write you a letter to get you out of swimming class in High School.
9. If he can afford it, he will buy you the latest toy or gadget.
10. He will let you use his car, his clothes, and his stuff and if you hold on to them long enough, he will just give them to you.
11. When you are unemployed, he gives you money without you asking for it.
12. He forgives and forgets your past transgressions.
13. Even when he knows that you are making the biggest mistake of your life, he will still bite his tounge and support you because he trusts your instincts and respects your decisions.
My list shows that a father’s love can be shown in many ways and it is our job to recognize the signs. Often times, people throw the word love around like there is no tomorrow but not really mean it. There are some people that rarely or never say the words I love you. However, these same people, through their actions, do not miss the opportunity to show their love. One such person is my dad.
If only I could’ve paid more attention to the little things that Dad did for me when I was younger, then maybe I could’ve spent more time being thankful rather than being resentful for the things that he and I had no control over.
Why is it that regrets always come in the end?
I think regrets come in the end b/c we are older and wiser.
I agree that actions mean more than words, b/c words can be thrown around while actions take real time and effort.
Thank you for this honest, touching post.
Conversation had after small Evil Genius walks into room of parents when he should be sleeping:
“Mommy, why was daddy making that noise?”
“He had a leg cramp”
“Why were you laughing at him?”
“He made a funny face.”
“Why were you sitting like that?”
“I was trying to fix the cramp.”
“Oh. Well be quiet, OK, because I was TRYING to sleep.”
Child walks out, returns to own room, parents dissolve in fits of laughter and go to sleep.
This? Is one reason why we have only one child.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Hey Chris: Have you ever heard Brian McKnight’s song ‘My Prayer’. When I became a new father 4 years ago, I heard it and it was tough to not shed a tear. Beautiful lyrics with an even more beautiful voice… just passing it along.
Regrets inherently come at the end. I’m coming up with a regrets database (in know… sounds funny) and will let you know about it. It’s what I call… my ‘Experiment #2.’
@david– “Dance with my Father” by Luther Vandross always makes me cry. I guess because, as a father, I now understand my own father.
FYI: here’s the lyrics for My Prayer:
“But when I’m gone
I need you here to carry on
My son I know you will be strong
Like a burning flame
You’re my claim
That’s why you’ve got my name
And just to show
Come what may I love you so
And there will come a day
When all that’s mine is yours
To take good care of you and yours I swear
I swear
And this is my prayer”
McKnight really belts it out in the last 3-4 lines and it’s just really awesome. I’ll check out the Luther song.
You hit the nail on the head.
Chris,
Biggest one is this -
Father sacrifices his dreams and put his pleasures on back burner only to see his children’s dream come alive.
Another good post.
Shilpan
Thank you for sharing this touching post. Sometimes actions can speak louder than words. There are just some people who are better expressing their love through the deeds they do. I’m sure your father knows that you have realized this now.
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